I would have thought that writing this book would be a lot easier for me than it has been. It turns out that the more research I do, the less writing I am able to accomplish and I have no idea why I cannot get my thoughts and ideas down on paper. The outlining process is daunting and I cannot even figure out what and how my story will take place but I know exactly what I want it to be about at the same exact time and this conflict is driving me absolutely mad. I even started reading How Not to Write a Novel and I think I am worse off now than I was before, since some of the main things I wanted to incorporate are completely ruled out in this book. Examples are the fact that my main character spends a lot of time in bed, since that is where most of the suspense takes place (it's not dirty... stop it...) and incorporating dreams seemed to all be cliche and over done. I know that it can still be done well by the right person, I am just wondering if that person is me. The thought also crossed my mind that I am meant to write this story, but I am not meant to write this story yet. Perhaps there are some other things I need to get out first before I sit down to write this particular novel. Perhaps it has not fermented enough yet inside my brain.
Either way, I am at a loss for words. The only thing I can do is keep researching and hope that one day it will come out. I know that in the end the book will not end up as what I set it out to be.
